A Long Time.

The other day I was commenting on a friend's Facebook post and I realized it had been seven and a half years since I have been on-form (for me) during a race season. After that point, injury, illness, lack of motivation, and any number of other things derailed my plans, until I reached the point where I stopped trying. Throw in job stress, career change, weight gain, frequent travel... yeah, it's been a while since I've been in shape when I've needed to be. There were a couple of points where I felt good, but it was always during the wrong point of the year.

Every year it gets a little harder.

Sure, getting older is part of it, and I accept that. I know a lot of guys who are older than me and are still insanely strong through good genes and/or good living. Maybe modern medicine too, but I figure I'm not really doing my part shoving boxes of vanilla wafers down my throat at a sitting, so any fingers should be pointed directly at me. My resolve gets weak at times, and I watch "free testosterone" snake oil commercials with way too much interest. Fact is I eat too much and train (if you can call it that) all wrong. The guys that do ride away from me every summer. Simple as that.

I don't know if I'm going to make it to the summer without burning out. I'm going to try. I'm going to try to drop a few pounds and maybe not push it so hard when there's no real purpose for it. Maybe I'll learn to stop chasing numbers and just enjoy the activity for what it is.

Seven and a half years is too long. I'll never get back to where I was, but I'd like to get to a place where I feel good about where I am. That's the form I'm looking for.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Luke Simpson

Image
A couple years ago I participated in a stage race and had the honor to meet Saul Raisin, the former professional cyclist that suffered a debilitating traumatic brain injury during a race in Europe. As I listened to him speak and later read his book about his recovery, I (probably like most people) had two thoughts:                 “What an inspiring story.” …and more callously,                 “Wow, sucked to be him.” The second thought was just a result of thinking it would never happen to me. If you run the odds, it just doesn’t factor into the threat matrix as prominently as teenage girls with cell phones or that sketchy Cat 5 on the brand-new Madone. Then I got my bell rung. I’ve seen my share of stars and cartoon tweety birds over the years, but this was the first time I was knocked unconscious and woke up in an ER. Another driver’s moment of inattention resulted in a totaled car and weeks of disorientation, speech delays, and random face plants. It didn’t occu
Read more

Narrowed Focus

OK, here's the fun part.   You're clinging to the wheel in front of you. Doing everything to stay in contact, because you know in the deepest parts of your soul that if a gap opens, you will never close it, and you will be adrift. That few inches of space is your whole purpose in life.   People wait their whole lives to see the scenery on either side of you, but you're too busy focusing on meaningless points up the road. You're hoping that by acknowledging them that they will somehow help you climb this hill. They don't, because they're inanimate objects like signposts and rocks. Selfish bastards.   You match cadence with the guy in front of you, promising yourself that every time their right foot comes down, your right foot will come down. That you won't stand unless they stand. That you will be every bit as strong as they are, even if you aren't.   The steady ache in your thighs keeps building. You know all you have to do to make it stop is to
Read more

Perhaps Where I need to Be.

  The last time I was in Biloxi was in November of 2016. I was recovering from a broken collar bone, but otherwise was relatively fit, lean, and getting fitter and leaner. Because I had nothing else to do and energy to burn, I rode a lot. It was wasted effort that translated into burnout during the trainer season, but I really didn't care. I hadn't been riding at all. A handful of road rides before the season ended. A couple fat bike rides when the trails near my house were packed well. Mostly I've hiked, cross-country skied, and sat on my fat ass. Primarily the latter. I knew I was going to be spending the month of February in Biloxi. I swore I was going to get back on the trainer in preparation, but I never did. I came in cold. I packed all sorts of warmers and raingear and stuff that I have yet to use.I forgot all sorts of tools. My tires were excessively worn and my tubes weren't in great shape either. I ended up buying new ones after a horrible first ride led to 4
Read more