A Long Time.

The other day I was commenting on a friend's Facebook post and I realized it had been seven and a half years since I have been on-form (for me) during a race season. After that point, injury, illness, lack of motivation, and any number of other things derailed my plans, until I reached the point where I stopped trying. Throw in job stress, career change, weight gain, frequent travel... yeah, it's been a while since I've been in shape when I've needed to be. There were a couple of points where I felt good, but it was always during the wrong point of the year.

Every year it gets a little harder.

Sure, getting older is part of it, and I accept that. I know a lot of guys who are older than me and are still insanely strong through good genes and/or good living. Maybe modern medicine too, but I figure I'm not really doing my part shoving boxes of vanilla wafers down my throat at a sitting, so any fingers should be pointed directly at me. My resolve gets weak at times, and I watch "free testosterone" snake oil commercials with way too much interest. Fact is I eat too much and train (if you can call it that) all wrong. The guys that do ride away from me every summer. Simple as that.

I don't know if I'm going to make it to the summer without burning out. I'm going to try. I'm going to try to drop a few pounds and maybe not push it so hard when there's no real purpose for it. Maybe I'll learn to stop chasing numbers and just enjoy the activity for what it is.

Seven and a half years is too long. I'll never get back to where I was, but I'd like to get to a place where I feel good about where I am. That's the form I'm looking for.

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