Riding a Wave

It may sound an obvious statement, but when I feel like I'm riding well, I ride well. 
 
Of course "well" is relative, but when I'm satisfied with how things are going, things generally go better. When I'm dissatisfied with how things are going, things tend to stay the same or get worse. It's something I've tried to control over the years, because I'd like to feel on top of my game all of the time. It doesn't work that way.
 
I've read book after book about how to manage the mental side of the game (in multiple sports), and none has ever clicked with me. I might not be at a point where I'm willing to internalize whatever it is that they're trying to say, or I might just be too lazy to accept that it's something unpleasant that I have to work at like VO2max intervals. Probably the latter.
 
At a certain point, nothing breeds success like success, however you define it. At a later point (at least for me), nothing breeds "meh" like success. From laundry to weight loss to race results, when you reach a goal sometimes everything falls apart because the object you were so fixated upon is past and nothing ahead really catches your eye. It doesn't take much life interference to knock me right back down to blah.
 
The real problem is that I only see the crash in reflection, and never before it happens. One moment I'm riding high on whatever self-delusional fantasy I've got going, and the next I'm worn down and discouraged. Left in the gutter and wondering if anyone got a good description of the Girl Scout that beat me up and took my wallet.
 
I prefer to take the view that I wouldn't know what riding "well" felt like if I didn't also have periods of riding like a three-time DUI offender on a Walmart full-suspension mountain bike that's two sizes too small. Some people would say I always ride like that, but it's really all about perception.
 
Right now I'm trying to manage expectations to ride my current wave of sub-well/super-meh into something sustainable for the season. If it doesn't work, I may have to buy that rusty Roadmaster off of Craigslist just so I have a ready excuse.

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