Alaskan Pack Fodder

As my time at Cape Lisburne drew to a close, I rode less and less on the trainer. After three days of skipped workouts, I finally got on my last day before packing everything up. A casualty of too many days out in sub-zero temperatures, hanging in a harness off a roof catwalk reinforcing and  aligning a wind-battered satellite dish that is a difficult one even in more favorable conditions. It took its toll on my body, but I was determined to at least make it work better. I did, but there was a bill to pay afterwards. I came home and so far have been successful at avoiding the bike. It's not hard if you don't make the effort. Actually, I wake up every morning and pet my dogs, telling them they are the bestest puppies in the whole wide world. Then I get the kids ready for school, drive them across town to drop them off, and run errands on my way home. Projects and other time killers eat up the hours I have before I pick the kids up. Then it's dinner and well... the day is sho...

I tracked down my best friend from high school. Took awhile, but we've been catching up on what's happened over the almost 30 years since we last saw each other. We used to be the center of a whole string of bands, but I guess our friendship was always based primarily on music. Once I stopped playing and we both moved away, well, we just lost touch. Since I started playing again, I just figured I'd reach out. He played in a cover band that serviced the Northern Virginia yacht and golf set. Think Uptown Girl at the Catalina Wine Mixer. If you don't get that reference, we can't be friends. COVID kinda killed that, to a far greater degree than we experienced in Alaska. Sill, he never stopped playing, and I gotta give him credit for that. I've lost touch with a lot of people over the years. I've never been one to have a wide social circle. My friends were always compartmentalized to specific activities or situations. Very rarely did the groups intermingle. Part ...

After over a decade, I picked up my guitar and enjoyed playing. To be honest, it's been longer than that. After my mostly negative experiences as a young music major robbed me of any enthusiasm, I stopped playing altogether except for short-lived spurts. Over the last few weeks I've rediscovered the sensation of learning and playing. All of my old aptitude and misplaced confidence in my abilities was gone. I started again, this time with old hands and a mind made feeble by the years. Still, I can sit for hours and contently noodle away if I allow myself. Sometimes I do. I bought a new guitar. I didn't mean to. It just happened. A Gretsch with a Bigsby. There it was in the Guitar store, resplendent in its Cadillac Green glory. It didn't have a price tag, and I knew if I had to ask I couldn't afford it. I asked, and I found it irresistibly in reach. I took it home.  I started frequenting music shops again, picking up odds and ends. I justified the new Gretsch by sayin...

Haven't written recently. Haven't felt like it. The world crumbled around me when my wife asked for a divorce for Christmas. Brutal. Months later, I'm still fragile. A stiff breeze can send me into sobbing fits and dark depression. Where I am now, we get a lot of wind. When I came home from Cold Bay I didn't touch my bike for over a month. Instead, I focused on what I've come to realize is truly important- my kids. They are really what provides meaning to my life. They need to know that, so I told them. I spent time talking to my dogs, rebuilding the relationships that were weakened by long absences. They need to know how much they mean to me, so I told them. I threw myself into home projects. Sexy stuff like vinyl plank flooring. I packed up all of my wife's stuff and marveled at how much room there was. Slowly I'm reclaiming the house, making it functional again. I accepted what it was when she was there, but she's not anymore. I get to reimagine and s...

The other day I was commenting on a friend's Facebook post and I realized it had been seven and a half years since I have been on-form (for me) during a race season. After that point, injury, illness, lack of motivation, and any number of other things derailed my plans, until I reached the point where I stopped trying. Throw in job stress, career change, weight gain, frequent travel... yeah, it's been a while since I've been in shape when I've needed to be. There were a couple of points where I felt good, but it was always during the wrong point of the year. Every year it gets a little harder. Sure, getting older is part of it, and I accept that. I know a lot of guys who are older than me and are still insanely strong through good genes and/or good living. Maybe modern medicine too, but I figure I'm not really doing my part shoving boxes of vanilla wafers down my throat at a sitting, so any fingers should be pointed directly at me. My resolve gets weak at times, and...

Right now my squiggly lines are back up to where they were a month ago, which is to say, too damn high. The last time I hit these numbers I was finishing up a stint at a radar site. I used the couple weeks I was at home to back off and recover, then started building when I was back in the field. After a couple weeks of nothing I'd call excessive intensity or duration, here I am at the ragged edge of being cooked. Except I'm not. I'm tired, but nothing a good rest day isn't going to fix. Today is the rest day, so it seems like I'm right on schedule. A couple good nights of sleep (no waking up early to climb on the trainer) and a day to relax should be all I need to bounce back and start cranking away. So I'm at a decision point. Do I hit the previous peak and then back off, or do I pick another arbitrary round number to shoot for over the next two weeks? Chances are I'll pick the latter, pushing my luck to see how far I can push things in the all-important mi...