Get What You Pay For.

I was fully committed.

 

Pouring sweat. Mashing the pedals. Snarling. Drooling. Wild-eyed. Flailing. Yanking on the bars to wring every last watt out of the effort...

  

Crack.

  

A sharp noise. Sharp enough to get my attention and temper the rabid nature of my Zwift sprint. 

  

I still got the coveted virtual sprint jersey that would be mine, all mine for an hour or until somebody came along and took it away. Not that the jersey really matters to me. What matters is the carrot in front of me that causes me to push harder than I would otherwise. Push the old intensity up a few notches and get more out of the time I spend on the trainer.

  

I knew what the noise was and where it came from. It was the sound of my bespoke Chinese "carbon" bullhorn handlebar, which was lovingly crafted by poor children from only the best dishrags and superglue, giving its two-week notice. You'd think with a respectable name like "Future", it would have had more staying power, but alas my mighty bulk was too much for it.

  

There's no visible damage, but I know better. Sooner or later I'm going to rip it off and impale myself on the dishrag shards. Sounds like more fun than it actually is.

  

I knew it was a cheap piece of crap when I bought it. It was replacing the 28mm base bar I was using before, mainly because it had a nice, wide top that wouldn't cut off the circulation in my palms. That, and the reach better matched the distance to the hoods on my normal road bars. Basically it was a comfort decision rather than one based on quality. For $38 including shipping, how could you go wrong?

  

So, faced with impending impalement, I did what I always do- I went shopping.

  

Turns out, I found a brand-new carbon base bar with a very similar shape from a reputable company (Profile Design) for... wait for it... $38 (including shipping). The only issues I can see with it are it's a little wider than I normally use and it's white. I have no idea why companies insisted on making white handlebars, because they look like crap when new and only get worse if you scratch them. However, A.) this is for a trainer application so therefore looks really don't matter, and B.) I can cover up most of the white with bar tape.

  

Pleased with my hard-earned bargain, I doubled down. I bought a Moots seatpost and some Rapha socks. Not exactly penny-pinching expenditures, but I felt like treating myself. 

  

The Moots post will go on the travel bike instead of my normal ENVE seatpost. It's about the same weight, and it might hold up to TSA a little better. 

  

The Rapha socks? I know Rapha gets a bad rap for being pretentious and overpriced, but they do make some nice stuff. If you catch it on the right sale, some of it's usually comparable to other brands people tout as bargains. Plus, the socks are comfortable. I was always told to invest in the contact points, and comfy feet are one less thing to worry about.

  

Then I started looking at cycling shoes, because my 16-year-old Specializeds that I've retired to trainer use are starting to fall apart. Might be time to send these to a farm upstate where they can roam free and rotate in another pair. But then what would I wear on those days when it's slightly chilly and it might rain so I don't want to wear my nice shoes but... it's a never-ending cycle with me. Do I need another pair of shoes? Doubtful. However, when I get a head of steam up and the credit card is already out...

  

All because a cheap handlebar made a sound.