How to completely disregard Wanky's Rules For Wealth Through Blogging, Part 2
"Write about your friends. You build readership by making people want to read, first about themselves and then about other things. You will eventually lose all of your friends by writing about them of course, but by then you will have 20 or 30 loyal readers in Ireland and Mauritius, and even a subscriber or two. Yes, mom counts."
This may prove problematic, since as I generally abhor the concept of "people", making friends is somewhat difficult. One of the things I like about Alaska is that there are more moose than humans, and I really don't think much of moose either. Thus with few friends to alienate, and fewer still that ride bikes, my range of topics are pretty much limited to my favorite subject- me. I definitely do like me some me.
In my last post I did tread new ground by writing about Pete, but he'd have to catch me to beat me up for writing about him. I figured he needed the inspiration. Not many guys that I race against that are so slow that I'm willing to take that chance.
My folks have a lot of cats, and I think a lot of the blog's traffic is generated by their random keystrokes. I'll take it, since even the bots and Nigerian princes have moved onto more fertile pastures. I can't say I blame them.
"The gold standard for blogging success if Eben Weiss, a hostile, sarcastic, cynical wanker who, despite multiple books, a regularly insulting column in Bicycling, and thousands of readers, still has a day job. Of course the moose-Iditarod-grizzly bear angle, or the cycling-in-a-salmon-run approach may hit a bigger chord than the urban struggles of snobbish biking in NYC, but if you do have a day job, hang onto it at least for the next month or two. I understand that park benches in Anchorage are only really good to sleep on about three weeks out of the year."I find it hard to believe that Bike Snob NYC doesn't make something in the mid nine figures from his blog-related activities. The guy lives in New York City. That alone disproves your assertifications about his financial status. Like you and your hobby law firm, he probably fills his non-snob time puttering around his brain surgery practice. To assume otherwise would shatter my carefully-crafted financial plans.
While it's true people from elsewhere seem to be interested in "Alaska", I'm not a Palin or a self-styled "rugged survivalist". I find life here vastly more interesting than NYC (or any other large metropolitan area), but the reality of swatting hordes of mosquitoes the size of Vespas away from your face while you warm up on a trainer in preparation to ride around in circles may not provide the thrilling content some people crave. I may need to embellish my descriptions somewhat.
"Repurpose random emails. When someone emails you something, copy and paste it into your blog. It saves mental effort, and with a bit of fakery you can usually turn it into a nice placeholder, especially for Saturday or Sunday morning when you’re in a hurry to go do the group ride and don’t have time to write because you forgot to check your tires the night before (the rear is flat), all of your bibs have poop stains and are in the dirty heap, your cleat has come loose and you can’t find the right sized hex key, you haven’t mixed any EPO and electrolyte yet, and you only have five minutes to get out the door and make the eight-minute pedal to the start."
I'm shocked. I find the use of people's correspondence as cheap filler material for blog entries highly offensive. It's plainly obvious why I paid such little heed to your suggestions, as they were obviously crafted to derail my plans for blogging domination. Plans, by the way, my infant son has described as "migle flimf dada boom". You can't argue with that.
But enough about you. Let's hear more about me...
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