Greatest Weakness.

They ask the same question at just about every job interview or promotion board:
 
What is your greatest weakness?
 
My usual approach is to name some general flaw and then list the various strategies I've used over the years to mitigate the issue and turn the weakness into a strength. It's usually just corporate jargon that means nothing, but it allows me to seamlessly transition into how I dynamically enhance tiger team throughputs to synergistically bolster cross-organizational core competencies, while maximizing key metric impacts and leveraging end-game deliverables applied in the vertical domain.
 
My career advancement has stagnated for some reason.
 
My go-to flaw is always multi-tasking. My theoretical solution always involves advanced time management techniques, cutting tasks down to manageable chunks and then prioritizing each phase of the process to meet current mission requirements. The reality is that I wait until the last minute, ingest a large quantity of caffeine and sugar, and then produce a sub-par product that barely meets specs. I apply the same process to bike maintenance, and the results speak for themselves.
 
To be honest, I don't completely suck at multi-tasking. For instance, when it comes to simultaneously operating a multi-ton vehicular death machine at high speeds on narrow, icy roads and messaging pictures of kittens to random people, while eating a Triple Quarter Pounder dripping catsup and styling my remaining hair, I am wicked awesome. I totally rock that shit. Seriously.
 
However, when it comes to anything that requires me to pay actual attention to what I'm doing, I have to zero in on a single task. For some reason, this annoys my wife, so she waits until I'm completely engaged with an intricate project before bombarding me with questions and taskings that aren't as time critical as what I'm currently doing. It's how she shows she cares, and I've grown to appreciate that.
 
I guess the end of the year is a good as time as any to reflect on your deficiencies. The winter solstice just passed, so there's ample darkness to set the mood. Booze seems to flow from every direction, counteracting the year's caffeine and sugar mega-doses, which allows one to sink into the sort of deep, dark depressive mood required to focus on failure. All of the things you should have done come forth to taunt you, and the future is nothing but a long, dark corridor of shame and regret.
 
On the upside there's cookies. Lots and lots of cookies.
 
When the New Year hits, I'll begin my annual ritual of dieting to shed the pounds added thanks to the aforementioned sugar, Triple Quarter Pounders, alcohol, and cookies. Maybe I'll succeed to a degree. Maybe I won't. It's worth the effort, though, because at the very least it's another failure to reflect on this time next year. I've got that going for me.
 
Thing is, no matter how deep the hole I dig myself into, all I need is a bike-induced endorphin rush and/or my daughter's giggle to snap me out of it and return me to the gleefully malicious, self-centered rat-bastard I am the rest of the year. It's always good to know there's an readily-available fix for what ails you.
 
I think I'll have another cookie.
 

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