Yesterday Joey sent me a Facebook message indicating I had completely ruined his life and doomed his family and future generations thereof to a life of unfulfilled misery. I caused all of this horrible suffering by not adding a blog post for two days.
I warned him.
He should have realized that entrusting his young family's very existence to a notoriously unreliable internet blogger was a bad idea. I understand my magnetic and dynamic personality draws in people of weaker intellect and possessing a strong desire to follow messianic figures. This allows them to bask in the reflected glory, cloaking them in the fringes of what can only be described as unfiltered awesomeness.
That's my cross to bear.
You would think I might feel partially responsible for condemning a guy who has shown some faint glimmers of cycling talent to the soup line. However, empathy is not numbered among my super powers, while douchebaggery is a talent that I've been nurturing this season.
Anything to take the competition down a notch.


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