Endings and Beginnings.
I miss her.
After her MRI, Piper took a turn for the worse. The MRI showed brain swelling and lesions. She was suffering. My wife and I decided to have her put to sleep. My middle son and daughter insisted they be there, not realizing quite what they were asking for. At least she's finally at peace.
The span of her life was a mere six months. Four of those were spent as loved, coddled, spoiled part of my family. Thanks to travel, I got to spend about a month of that with her. Doesn't sound like much, does it? She had a way of squirming her way into your heart, like the very best lab puppies do. As much as I wanted to claim her for my own, she was my wife's puppy. Sure, she cuddled and played with everyone, but those two had a special connection. With the stress of teaching and parenting and everything else while I was away, Piper was my the calming force in my wife's day, so my wife could provide a stable center for those around her. Nobody deserves all the love a good dog gives, but we tried to live up to our side of the deal.
Isolated in King Salmon, I grieved alone. I couldn't sit with my doofy black lab, Jackson, and talk it through. I had essentially said my goodbyes to Piper the morning I left, so at least I had that. As the detached, distracted numbness wore off, I started thinking. Thinking has never been my strong suit, but I did it anyway.
You can never replace a loved dog. That said, no matter how broken it seems, your heart can expand to find room to love another. It isn't a replacement, but rather an addition. Our family needs to add on.
A decade ago, we lost two dogs in less than two weeks. One was hit by a car, and the other was consumed by cancer at the ripe old age of 17. I realized I didn't function so well without a dog. Jackson is the bestest and most perfectest dog I've ever owned, but at nine years he's getting up there. I want him to live forever, but on average, labs live ten to twelve years. That's the cold reality I'm faced with. One day I will have to say goodbye, but before that happens I want him to mentor a puppy so some of his awesomeness will wear off on them. I'm hoping he'll be energized and stay with us a while longer. That was my selfish thought process when we adopted Piper, and it hasn't changed.
Thanks to COVID-19, there is a vast demand for pets. Shelters and rescues are finding homes for previously unwanted animals. I think it's wonderful. Unfortunately, that narrows the pool of candidates for us to... nothing. It has to be a good fit. Jackson doesn't like male dogs, so a female. We have cats and a young child, so that narrows the field a bunch more. I can't stand small or anxious dogs. I love labs and lab mixes, which happen to be the most popular breed in the country. Bush plane and regional charters have dropped off to nothing, so village rescues just aren't happening like they were a few months ago. In today's world, the chances of me finding the right dog as a rescue are virtually nonexistent.
I've never worked with a breeder before. I'm not talking about a puppy mill that cranks out the maximum profit from a limited gene pool, but rather an ethical breeder that makes every effort to produce healthy litters with the most desirable characteristics from established bloodlines. It sounds like eugenics to me, but after our recent experience I'm starting to see the advantages. I've never paid so much up-front for a pet, mainly paying adoption fees to pay to continue an agency's mission, but Piper multiplied her initial price twentyfold at the end. That doesn't include the heartbreak, which was far more painful than any financial loss. I'm willing to pay extra to try to avoid it next time around. From what we were told, Jackson is a purebred (if unregistered) Labrador retriever. I don't need papers. I just want a happy, healthy dog.
So I reached out to a local Labrador breeder who has a litter due this week. After seven weeks, the puppies will be ready to go home with their new families. Extensively medically vetted and treated, with AKC registration. I wanted to throw all of my money at them, but they wait until the puppies are four weeks old until they take deposits. I hope with all of my heart this works out. The breeder mentioned two of his dogs live in King Salmon, and the owner works for a company I deal with, so I may see if I can meet them. Talk with the owner about the experience. At the very least, I could get to pet a Lab or two, which is something I need now.
I have a general direction to head in now. In a world where plans and goals are torn apart in the blink of an eye, that's something. When the target is tiny, fuzzy, and lovable, that's everything.
Thus revitalized, I finished building my bike.
Time to get moving.
After her MRI, Piper took a turn for the worse. The MRI showed brain swelling and lesions. She was suffering. My wife and I decided to have her put to sleep. My middle son and daughter insisted they be there, not realizing quite what they were asking for. At least she's finally at peace.
The span of her life was a mere six months. Four of those were spent as loved, coddled, spoiled part of my family. Thanks to travel, I got to spend about a month of that with her. Doesn't sound like much, does it? She had a way of squirming her way into your heart, like the very best lab puppies do. As much as I wanted to claim her for my own, she was my wife's puppy. Sure, she cuddled and played with everyone, but those two had a special connection. With the stress of teaching and parenting and everything else while I was away, Piper was my the calming force in my wife's day, so my wife could provide a stable center for those around her. Nobody deserves all the love a good dog gives, but we tried to live up to our side of the deal.
Isolated in King Salmon, I grieved alone. I couldn't sit with my doofy black lab, Jackson, and talk it through. I had essentially said my goodbyes to Piper the morning I left, so at least I had that. As the detached, distracted numbness wore off, I started thinking. Thinking has never been my strong suit, but I did it anyway.
You can never replace a loved dog. That said, no matter how broken it seems, your heart can expand to find room to love another. It isn't a replacement, but rather an addition. Our family needs to add on.
A decade ago, we lost two dogs in less than two weeks. One was hit by a car, and the other was consumed by cancer at the ripe old age of 17. I realized I didn't function so well without a dog. Jackson is the bestest and most perfectest dog I've ever owned, but at nine years he's getting up there. I want him to live forever, but on average, labs live ten to twelve years. That's the cold reality I'm faced with. One day I will have to say goodbye, but before that happens I want him to mentor a puppy so some of his awesomeness will wear off on them. I'm hoping he'll be energized and stay with us a while longer. That was my selfish thought process when we adopted Piper, and it hasn't changed.
Thanks to COVID-19, there is a vast demand for pets. Shelters and rescues are finding homes for previously unwanted animals. I think it's wonderful. Unfortunately, that narrows the pool of candidates for us to... nothing. It has to be a good fit. Jackson doesn't like male dogs, so a female. We have cats and a young child, so that narrows the field a bunch more. I can't stand small or anxious dogs. I love labs and lab mixes, which happen to be the most popular breed in the country. Bush plane and regional charters have dropped off to nothing, so village rescues just aren't happening like they were a few months ago. In today's world, the chances of me finding the right dog as a rescue are virtually nonexistent.
I've never worked with a breeder before. I'm not talking about a puppy mill that cranks out the maximum profit from a limited gene pool, but rather an ethical breeder that makes every effort to produce healthy litters with the most desirable characteristics from established bloodlines. It sounds like eugenics to me, but after our recent experience I'm starting to see the advantages. I've never paid so much up-front for a pet, mainly paying adoption fees to pay to continue an agency's mission, but Piper multiplied her initial price twentyfold at the end. That doesn't include the heartbreak, which was far more painful than any financial loss. I'm willing to pay extra to try to avoid it next time around. From what we were told, Jackson is a purebred (if unregistered) Labrador retriever. I don't need papers. I just want a happy, healthy dog.
So I reached out to a local Labrador breeder who has a litter due this week. After seven weeks, the puppies will be ready to go home with their new families. Extensively medically vetted and treated, with AKC registration. I wanted to throw all of my money at them, but they wait until the puppies are four weeks old until they take deposits. I hope with all of my heart this works out. The breeder mentioned two of his dogs live in King Salmon, and the owner works for a company I deal with, so I may see if I can meet them. Talk with the owner about the experience. At the very least, I could get to pet a Lab or two, which is something I need now.
I have a general direction to head in now. In a world where plans and goals are torn apart in the blink of an eye, that's something. When the target is tiny, fuzzy, and lovable, that's everything.
Thus revitalized, I finished building my bike.
Time to get moving.
Comments
Post a Comment