A Horrible, Horrible Miscalculation On Their Part.
"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in." -Michael Corleone
There was a brief time in the not-too-distant past when I was on the Arctic Bicycle Club Road Division board. Then, for various reasons that aren't worth going into, I wasn't.
Now it looks like I am again.
I'm hoping to influence some positive change with my charismatic personality, irresistible charm, razor-sharp wit, rugged good looks, and tendency to argue a point of view long since discredited by peer-reviewed research studies with a fervor that results in the labels "asshole", "fucking asshole", "self-important fucking asshole", and some I can't repeat in such genteel company being cast in my general direction. They certainly can't be talking about me. Must be referring to someone standing behind me. Hate when that happens.
I'm hoping the other members can offset my dynamism, lest the whole organization become just a realization of my comprehensive vision for road racing and its eventual domination of all North American physical activity. No organization should rely that much on any single individual, even one as handsome, debonair, erudite, and stuff as I am. No, we need a comprehensive team effort to bring my dream to the masses. We also need someone to tell me to shut up once in a while.
I'm hoping to see some changes to the classes and how they're structured. A few years back we changed the names but not much else. I'd like to see a focus on development and progression, with the hopes that fields will be balanced competitively. We're not going to crank out the next Taylor Phinney, but maybe we can create a sustainable crop of people who like to race their bikes on pavement. Without racers, there isn't much of a reason to hold races- except I would win more often. There is that...
I'd like to see some of the guys I used to race against show up again. Whatever their reasons for stopping, I'd like to see them back in the pack, fatter and slower. I'd like to see more juniors line up, like they did when Janice Tower ran the Evil Empire's storm trooper development program. I'd like to see new faces getting a taste of what it's like to mix it up with people of similar abilities. I'd like to see feet again, but that would require me losing some weight. That really doesn't fall under the purview of the Road Division Board, but I thought I'd throw it in there.
Really, I'd like to create a sense of community around the staging area. I'd like to hear boisterous banter, shit-talking, and laughter. I think Dave Henke should race in a pink tutu. More SPAM primes and other stuff that isn't so fucking serious. You can be fiercely competitive, as long as you realize you're riding around on an expensive toy in spandex. This is supposed to be fun, so let's make it fun.
Who knows? Maybe something good will come of this. Maybe we'll set the groundwork for a renaissance in Southcentral Alaska road racing. Then again, maybe I'll stomp off in petulant anger again, taking my toys and going home. Maybe I'll alienate the only positive people in town willing to dedicate significant amounts of time towards adult underwear racing.
Either way, it should be interesting.