A Change Is Gonna Come.

Some people prefer Sam Cooke's version, by I've always been partial to Otis Redding's take on A Change is Gonna Come
 
And that's where I'm at right now.
 
Friday was windy and raining and the wife called me at work and told me I needed to pick up the children from school. I didn't ride. I was burnt out by this seemingly endless stretch of sub-par riding weather. There have been far too many rides recently where I was just not having fun, yet justified riding by telling myself it was "training for the good days" or something like that. Instead of getting stronger, it just gave me that creeping, tired around the eyes kind of weariness.
 
Saturday I didn't ride either. Instead, I mounted solar panels on top of the RV, which given said wind and rain, was probably not the best idea. I caught a break on the rain for a little while, and I knew I needed to get it done while I had the chance. When that was done, I had to replace a fence post that had broken in the wind storm, taking down a good section of the barrier that keeps my goofy lab from exploring the neighbor's yard. To be honest, it went better than I expected, but by the time I was done I has... done. I took the wife out to dinner, drank and ate more than I usually do, and called it a night.
 
Sunday... well, I was on a roll at that point. I spent the entire day working on the RV, sunup to sundown. At this time of year, that's saying something. I ripped out the old electrical system that I had been trying to work with and modernize progressively and just went with new stuff. With the solar panels, electrical controllers, and the other modifications I'd made so far, I couldn't work around the old junk anymore. It was taking up too much room with little functionality, and space is at a premium in my little RV. So, circuit breakers and glass fuses that had been there for decades gave way to new stuff. It took time. My hands got cut up. I put a good gash on the top of my head when I bumped the edge of the range hood. My back was tied in knots from contorting myself to work in the confined spaces. The project was 90% done when I just ran out of steam.
 
Monday rolled around and I figured I had to ride. Despite being exhausted, I hadn't gotten the best sleep. I hadn't eaten much the previous day. I wasn't exactly jumping up and down when I got up at 5:00AM to ride the trainer. With the wife leaving for ten days and me left alone with the children, I wasn't even going to have the option of fighting the wind. It was the trainer or nothing.
 
After three days of not riding, maybe I was expecting something... more. I certainly didn't get more. After 45 minutes of half-hearted grinding, I hung it up. My heart rate was high and my wattage was low. I had neither the energy nor pig-headed determination to gut it through to a full hour. I cut my losses and hit the shower.
 
So far this has not been a great spring. I hope the whole summer doesn't turn out this way, or it waits until I've finally given up to bring out the good stuff. That would be my luck. When I try to fight the weather, the weather wins. I can do a certain amount of rainy or windy days. I can even do them in combination, but at a certain point it just grinds me down too far.
 
Something has to give. Something has to change.

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