Douching the Coast.

Last weekend the "Cruising the Coast" event. From what I can tell, it's the single-largest concentration of hair plugs, Viagra scrips, and Expand-A-Belt trousers in a six state radius. Oh, and there are a lot of cars. Lots and lots of cars. Lots of, if I were a car guy, cars that could be considered really nice and really expensive. I used to spend a lot of time wrenching on Jeeps, so I can appreciate the investment these people put into their cars, even if it's not my thing.
They drive up and down the main drag in Biloxi/Gulfport, making giant loops like the kids used to do in one-stoplight towns. People line the streets to breathe in the exhaust and encourage the drivers to do burnouts in stop-and-go traffic. Again, not my thing, so I've tried to avoid it.
Unfortunately, the beginning of my bike route is part of this loop, so I get to breathe in the fumes with all of the other middle-aged men. I get to dodge cars that think the bike lane is just a really narrow car lane. My head is on a constant swivel until I'm far away from them, because in a car-centric environment, bikes don't exist.
Once out of town, I proceeded to lose my traditional five pounds of water weight. No matter how much I poured down my throat, I was playing a losing game. Towards the end of the ride, I was starting to feel the effects of dehydration. Of course, this is when I needed the extra energy to narrowly miss car doors and swerving muscle cars. I don't care if it has a Hemi or not, I just don't want to be your hood ornament.
I get it. This event brings a lot of money into the communities. A last-gasp for the economy after Labor Day. I just wish it was over already.
Not my thing at all.


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