The Subtle Shift.

With the seemingly endless pattern of wet-ride/dry-ride/wet-ride, it's been almost impossible to figure out if I'm making any progress. A great, dry day with low winds results in encouraging numbers, only to be followed by a 'meh' day of rain and trudging. I'm not talking about performance exactly, but rather a general positive direction that tells me all is not lost. One day of energy isn't enough for me, because recently it's often followed by a couple days of fatigue. I need a sign.
 
I might have just gotten one.
 
It wasn't on the road. It wasn't on the trainer. It wasn't even within 100' of a bike.
 
It was on the internet.
 
Today I clicked on a Nashbar ad and browsed for a while, lingering over frames and pouring over descriptions. I haven't done that for months. I don't need anything in particular, and didn't buy anything, but that primal instinct to hunt and gather was rearing its head once again. The urge to add to the parts pile was back. When it hit me what that meant, I almost cried.
 
It's going to be OK. I'm going to get there. Little by little, I'm going to rebuild myself back into the overweight, hyper-equipped, fucktard-on-a-bike I once was. I may never rack up the mediocre numbers I once put out in the halcyon days of my youth, but the bike-crazy guy is still there.
 
There's hope after all.

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