I Don't Know How to Ride a Bike.

They are all right.
 
I'm doing it all wrong.
 
I'm not enjoying myself.
 
I identify myself as a cyclist. More specifically, as a roadie. Exclusively as a roadie. I've owned mountain bikes, but the discipline never really rang my bell. I sold them and bought road bikes. I've owned 'cross bikes, but rarely used them outside of 'cross races and nasty conditions. I also hurt myself a lot while riding them. I sold them and bought road bikes. I've rented fat bikes, but I already have an expensive winter sport my wife does not 100% understand or support, and again it wasn't my cup of tea. I tried to sell them, but the rental outlet and the police objected, even though I was going to use the proceeds to buy more road bikes.
 
It's not like I haven't made the effort.
 
When my world revolved around skiing, I tried as many variants of the sport as possible. I tried cross-county, and they are dry-rotting in a corner of my garage. I tried heli-skiing, but I quickly realized my skill set, mental state, and financial situation to not mesh with sports that included the words "hucking", "cliff", and "no-fall zone". Eventually I found alpine ski racing, and with it found my niche in the sport. It's euro-centric, involves lycra, requires repetition/drills/discipline/precision, and has a community that I find easy to relate to. Some guys would laugh at me for wanting to bash plastic poles in all sorts of weather, when it was dumping powder on the top of the mountain, but I was having fun. Would I have had more fun getting first tracks? Maybe, but I was enjoying what I was doing.
 
It takes diff'rent strokes.
 
When I stop having fun, I do something else. As long as I'm moving and engaged, I'm ahead of the game.
 
Maybe someday I'll get sick of being an elitist, lycra-wearing, snobbish, prissy, interval-driven roadie. Maybe. When and if that happens, I'll do something else.
 
I intuitively understand why people like mountain biking. Fat biking. Randonnées. Charity events... all of the colors of the cycling rainbow, even if I don't necessarily enjoy them myself. I get it. Except triathlon, because that shit is just weird.
 
I've got my thing, and they have their thing. Maybe one day I'll give it (another) shot, and maybe I'll like it. However, right now I dig what I'm doing. That doesn't make my fun any less valid than your fun. It doesn't make your ride any more "soulful", "spiritual", "real", or whatever it is the hipsters say these days.
 
It ain't about you.
 
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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