Uniform Suckiness.

A few months ago, the fine people at Training Peaks, the world's finest endurance sports training software purveyor to wannabes, poseurs, and people with actual physical capabilities, sent me an email outlining the incredible advances that were possible with their new WKO4 software. I already have WKO3 and sync it with the online training application (because, more), so I deleted the email.
As time progressed, more emails proclaiming incredible features followed. They also went into the virtual dustbin.
Eventually I actually read one, and discovered that they would no longer support WKO3. This was no big deal, except it would no longer sync with the online application. Suddenly, instead of more, I was faced with the possibility of less. Sure, I could just download my workout files to both, but I'm a lazy fuck. Plus, if I forgot, the data documenting my steady decline would be skewed because the mechanism to translate it would be gone. This will not do.
However, the fine people at Training Peaks took pity on me. They sent me 300 more emails telling me an upgrade from WKO3 to WKO4 cost $50 less than a new installation. Those emails were also ignored.
Eventually I installed the demo version of WKO4, played around with it, then forgot about it until it expired. I was hoping for a calendar workout planning function similar to the online, subscription-based application, but then they wouldn't get more money out of me. Finding none, I lost interest. A power user I am not.
I'm actively trying not to analyze what I'm doing to much, because then it becomes more about chasing numbers than fun. All I want to know is that when this squiggly line does this and that squiggly line does that, I should be somewhere in the ballpark of my desired outcome. I like having the additional analytics close at hand, but it's not something I go to regularly. I also like having historical data that is refreshed/purged when I want to, rather than when the provider's cloud storage constraints dictate it.
My inaction eventually paid off, because eventually they dropped the price "FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!" another $50, and I gave in and popped for the new program that offered me no new functionality over the old one. All because I'm lazy and was tired of deleting emails.
One thing I noticed is that the new software proclaims I am an "All Arounder", which is a polite way for training software to say, "you suck at everything" while taking more of your money. I already knew this useful bit of information, but now it's displayed more prominently. I do have a pitiful spike in the short-duration power area, which I've tried to caress into a new designation of "Sprinter", "Pursuiter", "Douchebag"... anything but "Flaccid". I'm sure there are two or three added features I got for my $100, and I'll explore and incorporate them fully just before WKO5 makes them obsolete.
At least now the email offers for the upgrade have stopped. Now I just have to find a way to get the "WKO4 Training Academy" spam to stop.
Maybe if I throw some more money at them we can just get back to our dialog about how much I suck.


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