Wishing Isn't Doing.

I often hear other cyclists talk about their diets and routines and wish I was that person.
 
I wish I had the discipline they do.
 
I wish my palate was such that I could choke down the foul-yet-healthy things they consume enthusiastically. I wish I could push away from the table before the loosening of several wardrobe items and the phrase "elastic waistband " come into play. I wish my resolve wasn't so weak when passing a McDonalds, or at least that I could make better choices once I hit the drive-thru. I didn't see a quart of ice cream as something to be conquered. I wish I didn't interpret the local feed-trough all-you-can-eat buffet as a dare.
 
I'm weak that way.
 
Fact is, I sabotage myself at every turn.
 
I burn matches I don't have. I rarely get enough sleep. I'm lazy when I should be active and active when I should be lazy. I procrastinate until everything piles up in such a manner that doing any one thing well is nearly impossible.
 
A lot of this started when I was young and could get away with it. I'm no longer young, the bill is due, and my line of credit is used up. Every action has consequences, and I've been slow to realize it.
 
My Facebook account is constantly filled with shared miracle detox plans to fix all of life's problems. Unfortunately, I'm to lazy to start them. Real and meaningful change is not in my immediate future.
 
I wish I would do something about this, but wishing isn't doing. Temporary fixes and bandages are more my style. Sometimes I layer on the Winnie the Pooh bandaids thick enough they prop me up for a while, but eventually not even a heffalump could keep me from sabotaging myself.
 
I still have a little time to turn things around before road season, but I doubt I will.
 
Doing isn't listed among my strengths.

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