Nothing To See Here.
I think the French porn-bots are starting to lose interest in me. The number of unique hits on this blog are starting to wane slightly, as if endless whining about my mediocre performance, unnecessary bike parts purchases, and the extremely small Southcentral Alaska road racing scene didn't make for universally compelling reading. I don't get it.
I probably should get back on Reddit and loudly proclaim my dislike for a random region of this country. That's how this sustained traffic spike all started. Doesn't matter who I piss off, as long as they push the traffic numbers up. Nothing drives reader volume like internet outrage.
I should be president.
I think I have four or five actual human readers. That number can fluctuate, depending on how much I post on internet bike forums. My signature line is a link to this blog, and occasionally a person will accidentally click on it instead of the Viagra ad they were aiming for. Once in a while they'll hang around and read something, at least until they get bored or pissed off or both. I probably need to get out there on the forums and reply to a bunch of inane threads with thoughtful posts that are designed to trick the gullible into believing I have any talent in this sport and am a reasonable person. It's the internet, and behind my keyboard I can be anyone I want to be.
Then again, I could always generate traffic by insulting the quality of French edible undies for porn-bots, thus creating drama and conflict among the largest consumers of my drivel. They'll be so outraged that they'll repost links to this blog wherever it is porn-bots congregate, generating new traffic and elevating my numbers to ego-boosting levels (as if I needed it).
I should be president.
I probably should get back on Reddit and loudly proclaim my dislike for a random region of this country. That's how this sustained traffic spike all started. Doesn't matter who I piss off, as long as they push the traffic numbers up. Nothing drives reader volume like internet outrage.
I should be president.
I think I have four or five actual human readers. That number can fluctuate, depending on how much I post on internet bike forums. My signature line is a link to this blog, and occasionally a person will accidentally click on it instead of the Viagra ad they were aiming for. Once in a while they'll hang around and read something, at least until they get bored or pissed off or both. I probably need to get out there on the forums and reply to a bunch of inane threads with thoughtful posts that are designed to trick the gullible into believing I have any talent in this sport and am a reasonable person. It's the internet, and behind my keyboard I can be anyone I want to be.
Then again, I could always generate traffic by insulting the quality of French edible undies for porn-bots, thus creating drama and conflict among the largest consumers of my drivel. They'll be so outraged that they'll repost links to this blog wherever it is porn-bots congregate, generating new traffic and elevating my numbers to ego-boosting levels (as if I needed it).
I should be president.
make that 6 readers. keep it up dude.
ReplyDeleteHow do I know you're not a porn-bot?
ReplyDelete