Stealing Others' Creative Efforts.

The other day I would have shot milk out of my nose, that is if I drank milk and if my nose wasn't already clogged. 
I belong to a group on Facebook relating to Zwift. It's not the main Zwift Facebook group, but rather a closed group that allows people to vent about the inane comments and attitudes in the main group (e.g. consistently misspelling Zwift as Swift). It's sarcastic, offensive, and appealing to a douchebag like me. I've stopped following the main Zwift group, because I get the Cliffnotes version of the original comments and then commentary that would get people banned from the main group. Win-win.
One of the members has a podcast, and asked the venting group for questions to ask members of the Cannondale-Drapac professional cycling team. He knew good and well what he was going to get. I've cherry-picked some of the responses below, so I don't have to do any actual writing for this post:
  • Will anyone be asking Cannondale riders why they ride Cannondales and not Specialized?
  • What do you guys wear to your real jobs?
  • What is a Drapac?
  • Would you rather be a pro cyclist or an unicorn?
  • What's it like going to work commando?
  • If you could be on any pro team, which team would you want to be on?
  • What's your favorite brand of internal motor?
  • What is a peloton and how is it different than a pelokilogram?
  • How many of you have got asthma?
  • Is Cannondale in Yorkshire?
  • Did the team director make you do this Swift ride, are you here voluntarily? ... blink once for yes ... twice for no.
  • Who has the most ridiculous tan line lines - cyclists or golfers?
  • What's the worst kind of human being on planet earth and why is it triathletes?
  • Will spending 5k on carbon, coaches, power metres and on line analysis tools make me a pro cyclist or should I just eat less and cycle harder? Or eat harder and cycle less?
  • How does it feel that despite being a so called pro rider you still suck compared to 50% of the riders on Swift?
  • How do you feel about being 20 kilos heavier and 50 watts fewer than a Cat A 10th place finisher in Swift?
  • When did each of you complete your last 'A' race in Swift? Please discuss. If you haven't raced in Swift, why do you consider yourself a 'pro' rider?
  • Do you use powerups IRL? Please list them.
  • Question for Brendan Canty - Just how much of a goose did you feel when captured on live, national TV celebrating winning the Australian Road National Championship with one lap to go? Did you consider quitting your pro career right there and then? Thanks!!
  • Which metrics do you display on your bike computer? Do you stare pathologically at your bike computer while in the peloton or after the entire team is OTB?
  • Did Lawson Craddock get a bollocking from JV for riding with Lance a few weeks back...?
  • Please can you prove you aren't lying about your weight.
  • Do you weight-dope on the flats or just on the TdF mountain stages?
  • What's it like living off of three tic-tacs, a licked onion and the memory of what bacon tastes like? get the picture. Should be an interesting podcast. I may have to figure out what a podcast is just to see if any of these make the cut. 


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