Cramps and Bloating.

Like a large segment of the population, I suffer from cramps and bloating. Unlike most, mine are caused by my own choices.

The bloating is caused by excessive intake of what scientists rather clinically refer to as "crap". Easy enough to fix, if one has the willpower. I have brief moments of resolve, but they're always followed by pie. I do likes me some pie. With vanilla ice cream. Vast quantities.

The cramping is the result of moving. While large portions of humanity have given up the activity, I'm actually kinda fond of it. I like moving fast, and that takes effort. Sometimes that effort results in painful leg cramps. I don't like those so much.

The more I read about the subject, the less I understand. The science seems rather incomplete, and whole industries have been built on faulty studies and misinterpretations. What we knew as fact is looking shaky.

I've poured tanker loads of drink mixes specially formulated to pour over football coaches' heads. I've taken tablets and eaten all sorts of semi-solid concoctions. I've bought into any potential fix for the issue, and my legs still lock up from time to time.

Seems I'm naturally prone to cramps.

I still dutifully ingest my designer snake oil, only because it may actually have some affect and I don't want to see the alternative. However, I'm still looking for the magic bullet.

Friday afternoon I was on Zwift and locked up both calves during a sprint. The screaming could likely be heard in Fairbanks. The result was a top-3 personal best and a lot of limping for a few hours. I guess that's the price of glory.

I'd rather pay for a pill.

 

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    1. Hey! Show up at The Dome and then you can talk. You won't be allowed to say much, but you can have a few opening remarks about how awesome I am before I speak.

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